Posts Tagged ‘punishment doesn’t fit the crime’

2nd grader suspended from school for playing with a grenade—in his imagination

February 6th, 2013 Comments off

A 7-year-old boy at a Loveland, Colorado elementary school was suspended yesterday for throwing an imaginary grenade. The boy didn’t actually have a mock weapon in his possession, nor did he physically throw anything at all as a grenade substitute. He simply pretended to throw a weapon as part of an imaginary game he was playing. You know—in his mind.

The suspension was issued because the boy violated one of the school’s “absolute” rules, which simply states: “no weapons (real or play)”. Clearly the school is taking a fair bit of liberty with the definition of a “play” weapon, ruling that this includes anything dangerous that kids might happen to think about.


No imaginary weapons, please

From the Mary Blair Elementary School website: a zero-tolerance policy on imaginary weapons.


This is only the most recent example of a ludicrous elementary school suspension made by officials that have completely lost their grasp on reality. In the wake of school shootings, common sense is increasingly being pushed out of America’s schools in favor of “security at absolutely any cost—even if the security isn’t real (never mind necessary)” policies.

Some other examples of elementary school suspensions in the name of safety, all occurring within the last several weeks:

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America, where whales are safe from illegal… feeding?

January 6th, 2012 7 comments

A California marine biologist is facing more than 20 years in prison, and over half a million dollars in fines… for feeding a group of whales during a 2005 research trip.Feed a whale, go to jail

I, for one, am certainly glad that the US Department of Justice and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration could spare the resources to investigate this heinous crime. Illegal whale feeding is an unforgivable offense, and a known gateway to more serious crimes, such as dolphin riding.

In all seriousness, this is completely idiotic.

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