Sorry, Dunkin’ Donuts is not giving you $100

January 21st, 2012 Comments off

Seen in a couple of my Facebook friends’ statuses today:

Get Dunkin Donut Gift Card for FREE! (limited time only)
Dunkin Donut is currently giving away $100 gift cards to all facebook users!!

That's a lot of donuts

I like Dunkin’ Donuts as much as the next guy, but can we please stop propagating obvious scams like this one? What is it about the prospect of free stuff that turns otherwise intelligent people into complete morons?

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Categories: General Idiocy Tags: ,

MPAA publicly threatens lawmakers who don’t support SOPA

January 21st, 2012 Comments off

Chris Dodd, the head of the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), is threatening to cut off bribes campaign donations to lawmakers who refuse to support anti-piracy legislation. In the wake of faltering support for SOPA & PIPA, Dodd issued the following statement on Fox News:

“Those who count on quote ‘Hollywood’ for support need to understand that this industry is watching very carefully who’s going to stand up for them when their job is at stake. Don’t ask me to write a check for you when you think your job is at risk and then don’t pay any attention to me when my job is at stake,”

In other words, “push these bills through and we’ll throw you a bundle of money.”

I’m sure that most of us assumed that this was how the legislative process worked in America, but it is somewhat surreal to see Dodd be so blunt about it.

Categories: Political Idiocy Tags: ,

Give your WiFi router an inappropriate name, go to jail?

January 20th, 2012 Comments off

Police in New Jersey are investigating a wireless router after receiving a complaint that it was broadcasting a racist and anti-Semitic network name.

A mother was watching her 3-year-old daughter attend a dance class at a recreation center in Teaneck when she noticed the offensive WiFi name appear on her iPhone. The mother immediately complained to employees, who in turn called the police. Responding police were able to locate the router inside the rec center.

Township Police Chief Robert Wilson stated that the incident is being investigated as a “possible bias crime.”

The mother that initially noticed the signal commented that the person responsible “should see jail time” for the offense.

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Categories: Tech Idiocy Tags: ,

Legislator attempting to criminalize wearing pajamas in public

January 14th, 2012 Comments off

Louisiana lawmaker Michael Williams is setting his sights on ridding our streets and public places of pajamas. Williams took up his crusade against this modern epidemic after witnessing a group of men at a Shreveport Walmart dressed in pajamas and house shoes. He is now pushing for an ordinance that will make it illegal to wear pajama pants in public.

Demonstrating his bulletproof logic, Williams stated “Pajamas are designed to be worn in the bedroom at night — if you can’t wear them at the Boardwalk or courthouse, why are you going to do it in a restaurant or in public?”

Shreveport already has a “no-sagging” law against wearing pants below the waist in public, so an ordinance against PJs should presumably fit right in.

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“If Frederick got two beatings per day…”

January 13th, 2012 Comments off
Next week's assignment: algebra and the Holocaust

The answer is: "Are you insane?"

Teachers at an elementary school in Georgia are in hot water after assigning third-grade students math problems about slavery for homework.

An example math problem from the homework read: “If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?” Another question stated: “Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?”

In a surprise to exactly nobody, parents were outraged when they discovered the assignment.

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Mississippi governor pardons convicted murderers; calls them “dedicated workmen”

January 11th, 2012 1 comment

Get out of jail freeMississippi Governor Haley Barbour pardoned four convicted murderers last Friday, freeing them from life imprisonment sentences. A fifth criminal, serving a sentence for burglary and robbery, was also pardoned.

All of the felons worked at the governor’s mansion as trusties while serving their sentences, performing duties such as waiting tables, washing vehicles, and kitchen work. On the pardon orders, Barbour wrote that each criminal “proved to be a diligent and dedicated workman”.

This was one of Barbour’s final acts in office, as his term as governor is up this week.

It’s nice to know that washing a few cars at the governor’s mansion is enough to let you off the hook for murder in Mississippi.

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TSA claims teen’s purse design is a federal offense

January 11th, 2012 Comments off
A purse or a threat?

A purse, to most of us. To the TSA, a replica weapon and federal offense.

A 17-year-old pregnant Florida teen found herself in hot water with the fashion police TSA last month over the design on her purse.

TSA agents stopped Vanessa Gibbs in Virginia when they noticed that her purse had an antique-style western revolver emblem on it. An agent told Gibbs that the purse was “a federal offense because (the emblem) is in the shape of a gun”. Gibbs was detained while the TSA determined that the purse-gun wasn’t real and posed no threat. Even so, Gibbs wasn’t permitted to take the purse with her, and the TSA investigation took long enough that she missed her flight.

An image of Gibb’s purse is posted so you can see what all of the fuss was about. The gun design is clearly just a few inches in size.

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Categories: General Idiocy Tags: ,